Use Your DBT Skills

Hey everyone,

So I realize that Wednesday is not my usual day to post, but after some things that have happened, I wanted to write one. 

First of all, Happy Veterans Day! I want to say thanks to all those who have served or are still serving in the armed forces. Your bravery amazes me, and I’m so thankful for all of you. My dad fought in the Vietnam war as a navy officer, so this day is important to me. For the little time that I did know him, (he passed away when I was 5), he was a fighter. 

So these past few days haven’t necessarily been the easiest for me. Overall, I am doing really well eating disorder and self harm wise. Unfortunately, I have been struggling with suicidality. Like I said in my earlier post, I have attempted suicide, and I do struggle with that still. I don’t think about suicide all the time like I used to, but when I do think of it, the thoughts are a lot stronger. Yesterday, for example, I sat in my room and considered taking my own life. Im not going to go into details about what all happened leading up to it, but I will tell you what I did instead of that. As I sat in my room and pondered on my life, I thought about the real reason of why I wanted to end my life. I wanted a way to escape. I knew that killing myself was not going to do good for anyone. I am lucky enough to have a loving family and friends, and a great treatment team. What I did know though,  was that I didn't want to die. I want to continue writing this blog. I want to go to college. I want to help others who are struggling with the same things that I do. Suddenly, the words “use your DBT skills” came into my mind. 

DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is an awesome therapy which helps people stop harmful or unhelpful behaviors. It has helped me so much over these past months, and so now i’m going to try to teach some to you. Remember, I am no Marsha Linehan (corny DBT joke), but I will do my best to make this as simple and helpful as possible. Here are a few of my favorite/most helpful skills:

Opposite Action: Basically what it sounds like, you do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do. For example, if you had the urge to isolate yourself, you would instead go hang out with friends.

Radical Acceptance: This is my favorite skill, and one of the hardest skills to master. It involves taking a situation, noticing it, and not judging it, but rather accepting it as it is. 

Self Soothe: Things to do which involve using your five senses, like drinking tea, petting a dog, or my most useful self soothe; holding a frozen orange. Yes, a frozen orange. It helps with self harm urges, grounding during flashbacks, and they smell good.

Alright, so these are a few of the things that helped me get through yesterday. I am glad that I didn't choose the option of suicide. I feel a lot better now, and I haven't thought about suicide once today. Sometimes you just have to realize that this will pass, and you will have better days. It is still a struggle and sometimes I have a hard time getting up out of bed, but I am trying.

There is this song that I have been listening to a lot lately, called “Stand By You” by Rachel Platten. I love this song, and you should check it out! It talks about standing by you through all your tough times. I think it is a great recovery focused song, and it portrays a true statement, that I am going to stand by you. 

Okay, so this post is getting a little long, but I just want to end it with a huge thank you. You all are so amazing and I just want to say thanks to all those people who have contacted me and told me that what I am doing is brave and inspiring.  Your support has helped my own recovery in so many ways and I will always be grateful for that. 

Stay Strong.