Life is Hard.

Hey everyone. Sorry about the lack of posting these past few weeks. It has been really hard in some ways, and some things have happened. My eating disorder has been a problem for me lately, and I have given into it more than once. It is doing better now, but I still am struggling with it. I also just recently had another suicide attempt. It was hard to finally tell someone about it, but when I did, I felt a lot better getting it off my chest. I started cutting again, which has been a struggle for me to quit for quite some time. Like I have mentioned before, self harm does increase the chances that a person would commit or attempt suicide, and so far, that has proven right for me twice. 

To stop the chances of that happening again, I did something today that I am proud of. I put what I was using to cut with in my moms room, and sent her a text telling her that I was sorry, and that I had been cutting. I told her that I left my tool next to her bed. It took me some time to send that message, because not only was I so attached to my “weapon” but I was scared that my mom would be mad at me. But she wasn’t. She told me that she loved me and that she was sorry. 

To all those out there who are scared to tell someone about self harm, depression, or anything else, just remember that people are on your side and are there to help you, not hurt you. It took and still has taken me quite a lot of convincing that that is the case, but it is true. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be honest.

Life is hard. It has thrown so many obstacles in my way, and I have yet to get through many of them. I’m not going to lie, sometimes I wish that I could escape it all, and sometimes I wish I didn’t wake up, but I am trying. I will keep fighting, with the hope that maybe one day life will get slightly easier. 

Stay Strong.