Thursday, January 21, 2016

First Day of School


Hi guys! I hope everyones’ week is going well. And I hope you all have your winter coats because the next few days are going to be freezing! I’m wishing for snow because I absolutely adore snow. Plus, I spent the first 6 years of my life living in Massachusetts where there is a lot of it!
So today was a pretty nerve-wrecking day for me, as it was my first day back at school since September which was when I would cut in the bathroom at school. After my treatment team realized that I was no longer safe at school, I was sent to inpatient and then was homebound until today. Luckily, most of my classes are online, and the only ones that I have at school are Creative Writing 2 and Art 4. At my school we have A B days and both of the classes are on the same day, 1st and 2nd period- so it makes things simple. 
I was really nervous because I didn't want the students to ask where I've been for so long, and I didn't know what to tell them. I was also nervous because I didn't know if I could handle the loud noises, and a large amount of people. At Timberline Knolls (my residential treatment facility), there were so many girls packed in one lodge, and we all were there for different problems, ranging from eating disorders, to anxiety disorders. With so many people with all sorts of issues, there were a lot of outbursts leading to many panic attacks. And that is why lots of people and loud noises get to me.
It went a lot better than I had anticipated, and I managed to get through it without engaging in any harmful behaviors. I had to use opposite action to force myself to get out of my bed and face my fear..and I did it! Hopefully from now on it will just get easier!

I want to end this post by saying a big thank you to all those out there who have reached out to me and told me that I am inspiring them. It means so much to me and keeps me going. I will attempt to post on Sunday, if the power doesn't go out, but until then, have a great rest of your week!
Stay Strong!

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