Strong

Hi guys! 

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I have just been super busy with school. I am currently taking 4 online classes, and 2 classes at school, so it has been a little overwhelming for me. I am sure to a lot of people it seems silly that I am complaining about the two classes I take at school, (creative writing and art). It’s just hard to face a whole bunch of people all at once, and to think back to the bad memories I have had at school due to my depression. Friday was especially hard for me, because I had a tough time dealing with a death. But with some radical acceptance, and opposite action for getting up, I was able to face the day and move forwards. It wasn't so bad after all, and I am glad I went in the end.

So I believe I have mentioned this before, but my main goal in life is to help as many people/ inspire as many people as possible. I have already spoken once to my Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP), for Eating Disorders. I really enjoyed doing that, because it’s a step towards my dream, which is to become a motivational speaker. I was talking to my therapist recently, and she asked if I would be interested in speaking to the program again. I said yes, and we are now in the process of filling out some paperwork to make it happen!

Having an eating disorder is very hard. You basically have your own personal bully that follows you around everywhere you go, calling you all sorts of names. It beat me to the point where I started to self harm, I questioned my life, and attempted suicide-more than once. But I am done letting my anorexia ruin my life. I wrote this poem the other day:

I Am Strong

Get out of my life.

Your words broke me.

You were the source of the cuts on my arms,

Of the bottle of pills held in my hands,

You beat me so badly, 

Calling me names,

Yet I have believed them.

Thinner and thinner I got, 

I followed your rules.

You used to control me.

I sat there, 

Salty tears fell from my sunken eyes.

I’ve had enough of you.

I have anorexia but I am not weak,

I am not a slave to my disorder.

So get out of my life, 

For I am done listening to you.

I am going to stand up for myself.

I’m the one calling the shots.

No longer will I hate myself so much.

Get out of my life,

For I may have anorexia,

But I am a survivor,

And I am strong.

The message I want to portray through this post, is that your eating disorder DOES NOT control you. I may have anorexia, but I am strong- and so are you.

Stay strong