How many things in life are
dividing lines that separate the before from the after? I read these
words in a detective novel of all places (thank you, Tyler Dilts), and they
jumped out at me.
I’ve been thinking about
the dividing lines in my own life. We all have many. College, marriage, births
of children, death.
Isabel’s death seems like
the Grand Canyon of dividing lines in my life, even more than losing her dad.
Nothing will ever be the same. It is really easy to make a long list of all the
terribleness that her loss has brought to me, her brother and triplet sisters.
It is harder to think of positive things since it feels like I should never be
able to think of anything positive associated with my child’s death.
Is there anything constructive
or optimistic? Since this giant chasm opened up as a dividing line to a new
“after”, Isabel’s blog has been viewed over 45,000 times all over the world!
About a week before she died, the number was around 6,500, and when she
announced this, we gave each other a “high five” because we thought it was so
amazing. I assume 45,000 page views means that some people are finding it
helpful and probably sharing it with friends. (Our family has decided to continue Isabel's blog and post our thoughts periodically.)
Just before the holidays,
we learned that the UNC Hospital Center for Excellence for Eating Disorders
(CEED) has established the Isabel Whitcomb Stay Strong Fund. Thanks to
donations from so many friends and family following her death, CEED has received well over $100,000, a lot of money for this relatively small but impactful center.
As a result, a new program will be underway this year with the objective of
building an education and referral network in North Carolina. Therapists will
be identified and trained in family-based therapy for eating disorders across
the state, and North Carolina pediatricians will receive education on the
detection and treatment of eating disorders in their patients and help them
guide parents to family-based therapy resources. A fundraising campaign will be
launched by UNC Hospital to ensure this program will continue for years to
come. Our family has made a commitment to be involved with this, and we will soon post the link to how anyone can contribute to the Fund.
Wow! These two positives
make me feel both happy and incredibly sad. I am fiercely proud of Isabel. But I
wish she was here to spearhead these achievements. I wish she could spend the
next 80 years inspiring people with her stories and quirky wisdom. I imagine
all of the things that could have been.
On the back cover of her
book, Stay Strong, Isabel wrote “I am determined to be someone in
this world, and I am determined to change people’s lives.” I hope she knows she
is successful. And I hope she knows that on this new, unasked-for side of the
dividing line, we can work to carry her legacy onward. In spite of my loss, I
will Stay Strong.
